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The phrase, "Dumpster Diving" can be defined two ways:
Either literally, being the concept of physically going to a dumpster and filtering through it for whatever you may be looking for.
Or metaphorically, taking the same literal concept but applying it to any action in which you are searching for something, generally with negative or subpar reviews.
The other week I wrote an article about a movie called "Skeleton Man". Now don't get me wrong that movie is diabolically bad, but I felt like I intentionally picked it out just to make fun of it. While I am a film critic, I won't be known as a bully. This mindset is what led me to once again search for a bad movie; however, this time I would pick one that had some kind of preexisting recognition.
Before I even talk about the movie, I must get to the massive elephant in the room: Steven Seagal. Back when Above the Law came out (1988), Seagal didn't have nearly as much controversy as he does now. Chances are, most people probably thought his martial arts sophistication was legitimate back then. I'm not going to talk about his controversies in this article due to wanting to maintain a more humorous tone, but plenty of people online have already made videos and essays discussing it so you could look about it if you're interested. I'm just here to talk about the movie, which I'll do now.
Plot Summary
Seagal plays the role of Nico Toscani, former CIA operative turned Chicago detective. The film starts with a narration from Nico talking about his early life. Discovering Aikido, a Japanese martial art, and his induction into the CIA playing short montage of Vietnam era footage intercut with footage of Nico teaching students Aikido. On a weirder note, Seagal looks very different during this training scene than he does in the rest of the movie. He looks 20 pounds heavier and has sideburns. I have to assume this was some unrelated footage Seagal recorded at some other point but just threw it in cause it fit well. I have to admit though that the opening section is good at establishing a mood, one the film completely lacks afterwards.
We cut to Seagal in Vietnam in 1973, where accompanies other agents as they interrogate (torture) a prisoner for information. The guy performing the torture is named Zagon by the way, I mention it because he matters to the further plot. For some reason, Nico in response to the torture methods asks, "What does this have to do with military intelligence?" It's made out to seem Nico is honorable but it just makes him look stupid. Nico, the reason these guys are torturing this man is to get information/military intelligence from him. That's how that works. Apparently, Nico can't get that concept through his thick skull and goofy haircut, so he chimps out and starts attacking the interrogator and then runs away.
We have a time jump to 1988 where Nico has not aged a day. We're introduced to his family and fellow police through a baptism at church and a subsequent celebration that looks like the director saw The Godfather once and was like, "We need an Italian backyard party in this movie too." Nico has a lady partner named Jax. I don't remember her actual name that's just what I had in my notes. Understand now, that all names I mentioned before are the only ones film I remember or had in my notes. Let that say enough about the movie. Anyway, we go onto a scene where Nico is investigating a South American drug ring and it's members within Chicago. He finds information on where they plan to make a deal, and plans a bust.
We get to the scene of the bust at a meat packing facility, where the bust goes wrong as should be expected for any self-respecting action film. As the criminals- wait I take back my point from earlier, I remember one of the drug dealer's names. It was Salvano or something like that. Anyway, the criminals start getting away as Nico climbs atop the roof of their car for the iconic, "car chase with man on top of car" trope. However, we get the ugliest execution of the concept I've ever seen. With unintentionally funny shots of Nico choking that Salvano guy I mentioned. They succeed in apprehending the criminals and Nico goes home a satisfied man.
That is until it turns out that Zagon from the Vietnam scene, through FBI connections, let's Salvano off, because of course he's a part of this. This is the main catalyst for the plot, with Nico navigating a web of corruption going back to his time in the CIA and the modern day.
Considering I feel this synopsis has ran long enough, I will now briefly summarize every other event with bullet points until the ending, so I don't waste any more of your time. Believe that it's more of the films fault for having too much filler than it is mine.
The South American cartel blows up Nico's church in an attempt to kill one of the pastors who did something they didn't like, I don't remember. they accidentally kill a different pastor that Nico really likes instead.
Nico starts harassing one of the FBI agents who's corrupt and starts questioning him before eventually making him strip down to undergarments and jump in Lake Michigan. I'm guessing Nico has changed as a man since his, "What does this have to do with intelligence?" days.
He narrowly dodges multiple assassination attempts form the CIA and the cartel, leading to his family going into hiding. I genuinely have no idea why his family is even a part of this movie because they actually serve no purpose.
The CIA tracks down that pastor that they tried to kill with the church bomb. Zagon begins performing the same torture that he did back in Vietnam, and as we know Nico can't be having any of that so he performs another raid. In the process, Jax gets shot but doesn't die even though the film would have a lot more stakes if she did but that's just me.
Nico has another run-in with the CIA, this time they capture him and it's 100% Nico's fault. He has Salvano on the back of his car, and then proceeds to drive in reverse through the parking garage wall which sends Salvano plummeting to his death, and in turn gets the car stuck. Yeah sure, Nico steals another car and gets caught shortly later but he didn't need to crash his car just to kill someone in a flashy way.
Oh yeah by the way, the CIA's goal in this movie is to kill some senator who's trying to expose them or something.
So now it's Nico's turn to receive some "military intelligence gathering" at the hands of Zagon. Throughout the whole film, Zagon has used some sort of chemical depressant to torture people and uses the same here. It's supposed to immobilize someone theoretically, I think. Well "theoretically" is the right word because it just doesn't work on Nico and he gets up and kills everyone like nothing happened. He then goes home to a nice happy ending, where he drops some final line talking about how the government should have more restrictions so they won't be "Above the Law"
I had some other notes mostly just talking about Seagal's performance so I'll translate them here. Firstly, he often times tries to be witty and it just falls right on its face. There's also this weird occurrence where people will begin talking to him and he just doesn't respond back. It's very strange. In a lot of these action films from way back when, the cheesy acting is somewhat universal across the whole cast. This is not the case here, everyone does a good job save for Seagal. Oh and I can't not mention the on-foot chase sequence from this movie, where we were introduced to the now infamous "Seagal run" Basically, he runs like how you would imagine the comic relief character in a cartoon to run, I don't know I can't describe it you'll just have to look it up. I'm sure there are plenty of videos made showcasing it. The reason I bring it up is because it's clearly a fake running style, but it doesn't look cool it just looks whimsical, so why would Seagal do it? I don't know.
After encouragement from my editor that I should include some kind of ranking system, I'd give this movie a 5/10 on the "Dumpster Scale" (I'll find a better name for my ranking system at some point) It could easily jump to a 7 if Seagal didn't give such an uncanny performance. If I have to play devil's advocate, it is at the very least better than Skeleton Man, but that's not exactly a high bar to reach. I'll be back the week after next with another review, so stay tuned.
Gunner Farrell is a member of the Poudre Press and focuses on writing critiques and analysis on popular media such as film and video games. He does a bi-weekly series where he covers obscure films that are typically bad.
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